Tuesday, December 14, 2010

SMILF - v 1.0

Meh, I'm single again.  And Josh reads the blog.  Hi Josh!  You have many admirers here!

Ha.  I'm super awesome at stealth.  Anyway...

Josh was super, and honest, and he's ready to be done with having babies.  I am not.  That is that, my friends.

I am taking a dating hiatus until sometime in the New Year...

Happy Christmas all!


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Feck My Life.

I'm really, really, really struggling...

I KNOW you all love Josh.  Heck, I'm pretty crazy about him too!  We had a great weekend - movie and a snuggle Friday, and spent all day Sunday together.  He's amazing.  Totally understood my one sentence, "Ireallylikeyouandit'sjustgonnatakemesometimetogetusedtosharingmytimeandenergywithanyoneevensomeoneasawesomeasyou".  He kicked my arse at Scrabble, raved over my dinner, played with my kid at Chapters while I obsessed over the best 3 Christmas books for The Girl... smiled about it! 

I'm just really sure I want to have another baby.  And it's interfering with my ability to appreciate the alternative.  Made it perfectly clear to Josh that it's always on my mind, and that it's not NOT an issue still for me.  We're both thinking on it. 

There are other factors too.  He's tied to his area of the city by the location of his children.  It's on the other side of the city... equals me starting over in a new job, with suck all for vacation, and no backyard.  Sounds small and little right?  It's not number one, but its on the list for things pulling at my mind. 

We go 2 weeks of the month with no physical contact.  I think that contributed to my battiness over the texts and emails and calls... I need physical contact.  Our attraction is NOT just physical, but I think contact connects couples in a way that maintains prolonged interest, if that makes any sense?  In my crazy head it does!

Anyway... he's coming over Wednesday night.  He's on the same page as me... if it's a big block for me, it's not fair to either of us to continue seeing each other... and yet... he's coming over Wednesday...

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

okokok... Some Random Posts

So, I miss this blog.  And, I feel the need to hear my readers on some things, like:

Josh is more romanticky than me.  Do I fake it?  Like set a reminder in my work calendar to send him a random text that says "X.  That is all."?  I feel like I should reciprocate his random texts despite being a crazy busy, single mom, employed as a manager and trying to succeed woman?  Wait, I'm going to go the route of "no faking orgasms, it only really hurts me" rule.  Right?  No faking my dating style?

On weeks that Josh has his kids we go a little over a week without seeing each other.  How many nights should we be talking on the phone?  'Cuz, I HAAAAATE phone calls.  I have no home phone or personal cell (work BB only).  It's rude to text or email only, right?  Even I'm a little embarrassed to ask.

Ah.  That feels better.  Welcome to the neurosis that is S(mitten)MILF.  I will be sometimes posting some crazy - better out than in, right?