The (Up)Date.

I have to preface this post with a truly horrible secret about the SMILF.  I rarely get terribly nervous about anything.  Truly - I didn't stress about pushing a baby out for nine months of pregancy, I don't flip out at "job evaluation time"... This is for the best.  That paragraph is NOT the truly horrible secret.

If you have a delicate nature, or are eating lunch, close this blog.

I poop when I'm nervous.  Like, I have to be REALLY, REALLY, REALLY nervous for it to happen.  But when I am, like in the hour preceding a job interview I desperately want, or before a 1st date, or 5th, if I really like the guy, I poop a lot.

In pre-The Girl days, I would just suggest meeting for a beer, and I'd have one before I went, which relaxed me.  I smoked at the time, so I burnt a lot of nervous energy at the expense of my lungs.  Neither of these are appropriate for a job interview, a lunch date, or an evening date where I have to come home and parent alone later that night.  Let's face it - cabs cost money, as does child care, and single parenting pays very poorly.  Lunch coffee is easiest on my pocket book.  It just doesn't allow me to get a little oiled with alcohol.

Anywho, back to my new nervous habit, pooping.  It has it's upside.  I feel VERY svelte for every first date.  There's NO chance of accidentally tooting over coffee, that's all gone.  And, fortunately, it passes when I actually get up to go to my date.  It's the sitting and stewing.  I can't take it.

I'm telling you this because I'd like to direct you to this blog post, by SINGLE DAD LAUGHING... who's advice was NOT timely in my case, but handy, for my next first date.

Yeah, there's going to be another first date.  This was not a match.

Brian was nice.  I felt very relaxed with him.  He reminded me of any good ol' boy I'd find having coffee in any of my hometown gas station/restaurants (yes, we have those where I grew up).  I would TOTALLY hang out with him again and play crib or euchre over a beer.  But there's no chemistry.  At all.

Now, how do I tell a nice guy that?  Dodging emails, calls and texts would be my old way.  Seriously, I sucked at being a nice person. 

Suggestions?  My only thought is an email.  I'm a phone a phobe, and I don't think one date warrants a call.