On The Man Site, I've just sent 3 questions to "G". He's cleverly cloaked his own identity by NOT indicating his first name next to his photograph. Boys are dumb. I won't assign "G" a fake name for you to refer to him by. He's 36, no kids, a financial analyst... I'm hoping he does not refer to himself as "G" in real life. Ick.
No word from Gord in 5 days... I let it slip that cats sorta gross me out. He has 2. Whoops!
I've been thinking about all the wonderful things that come with being a Single MILF, just to remind myself why being single is not the end of the world. Here ya go:
1. Single MILF's can fart/poo with the door open/rip a broken toenail off with her teeth whenever she wants, without a partner bringing it up after one too many beers at the neighbourhood street party. *Note to self - when The Girl learns to tell stories about Momma, refuse social invites*
2. I can anticipate, at the very least, ONE new sex partner! Woot for new experiences! Woot for love life positivifity! Married MILF's can't do anything more than they've already been doing for the last 5 years of their marriage - close their eyes and pretend they aren't sleeping with their husband! Oh, that's just me in long-term relationships? Oops.
3. Single MILF's make all the rules in their homes! No inappropriate conversations in front of the children about how hubby always undermines your authority! Hmmm, I suppose some Single MILF's have these on the doorstep at drop off, or over the phone... but not THIS MILF! No man around at all! So, I guess I waggle my tongue at some other SMILFs with this one...
4. Single MILF's never step over a lounging, hockey game watching, gas machine to pick up his empty nacho plate and beer stein to wash up before his mom stops by to bring her baby boy his favorite baked good - which you, Married MILF, simply can't duplicate. Ask your MIL, she'll tell you!
5. I get all The Girl's snuggles. No sharing!
6. I can serve egg salad sandwiches and baked beans for dinner, and not fear being trapped in the same room that night with the man that ate them. I can also do that 3 nights running, if I so choose, and not justify it to anyone!
7. Not unique to SMILF's... all my thanks to The Girl, for putting the M in MILF for me. I'm so blessed. If I never hear "I love you" from another person in my lifetime, I'll be okay - I've heard it from The Girl. That's a lot of love to give thanks for.
Yes, I did notice a heavy focus on farts in the "thanks givings" listed above. I'm working on it. Judgers.
Love this!! You're a funny SMILF!! Don't forget about picking your nose without judgement!!! Dig deep baby.....
ReplyDeleteyou mean I was suppose to stop those things when I bagged a man? oops... poor Jon, he missed out I guess.
ReplyDeleteI leave the door open so frequently for the bathroom I actually had to jump off the can this weekend because I forgot my brother was over working on the deck! Apparently I also must burp too much because in Rylans world it's not 'excuse you' it's 's'cuse u mummy' even if daddy burps.
Cats are gross, we have 2 and I hate them. The only thing saving them is fat cat is Jon and I's first pet, we got him when we moved in together and bitch cat is amazing with the kids. The day they start to hate her is the day she's gone.
I look forward to your next update about Gym hunk. He sounds like a good candidate.
That was an amazing post.
ReplyDeleteCats gross me out too.
Honestly, if he's a cat person...you may want to put more eggs in the "G" basket and step away from the man with 2 cats....just sayin'....